I listened to Spotify’s ‘Top Songs – United Kingdom’, here’s what happened…

2nd of May 2021. The day I decided to open up the charts playlist for the first time all year, probably, and wow, what a trip. I’ve felt detached from pop music this year – I deleted TikTok (too addictive), stopped listening to the radio (too samey), and became a bedroom recluse, devoting my ears to 80’s and 90’s alternative rock almost exclusively. Therefore, I’m long overdue some radio-friendly, unit-shifting music in my life and who knows, maybe some of it sticks. I’ll be limiting this to the top 10 most played tracks for now, with room to explore more in the future, should I need to. Lastly, before I begin, the inspiration for this came from Rick Beato’s YouTube channel – a channel music lovers must subscribe to.

10 – Russ Millions, Tion Wayne “Body”

You know the Cornetto trilogy, right? And how The World’s End was the worst of the three? “Body” is Russ Millions’ The World’s End. It’s the third instalment in this franchise seemingly, following “Gun Lean” and “Keisha & Becky” but doesn’t seem to do as much as its predecessors. It isn’t as significant as the other two tracks, nor is it as exciting. Also, Russ Millions’ chemistry with Tion Wayne doesn’t seem as healthy as it has in the past. Perhaps it’s the fact that Tion Wayne sounds a lot like Unknown T here, but something just doesn’t sound right to me. I was going to suggest that maybe it’s an issue of taste, but it’s the tenth most played track in the country, so maybe it’s not.

9 – Olivia Rodrigo “deja vu”

My first thought was that this sounds a lot like Lorde, specifically the Lorde from Melodrama. It wasn’t what I expected as a follow up from “Driver’s License”, but it’s pretty good! One thing is very clear with Olivia Rodrigo – she is an amazing vocalist. I’m fully invested in her success and I actually like this song as a second single. I wasn’t sure about the drums on this at first, but the more I listen, the more I like them. The structure of her two singles so far is quite similar, and like “Driver’s License”, “deja vu” has a killer bridge in the final third of the song. Really good, big fan. (Also, this song just came on a shuffle and I got really excited when it started? Oh no, I’m hooked. Will probably be in tears with this song soon. Oops.)

8 – Tiesto “The Business”

Hmmm. I was shocked this wasn’t a MEDUZA song when I first heard it. I guess Tiesto just wears his influences on his sleeve. I’m kind of struggling with this song, because it’s just one of those Ibiza club songs that comes out every year, will be big for about two months, then fade into obscurity, never to be heard again. It happens all the time. I guess, if this sort of thing is for you, you can enjoy “The Business” while it is here, but I doubt you’d miss it much when it goes. Bit of a snooze fest for me. Also, nothing really happens in this song? I feel like it’s missing an instrumental somewhere, or just something actually engaging. Next.

7 – Dua Lipa, DaBaby “Levitating”

Globetrotting Dua Lipa might not recognise international travel restrictions when she sees them, but does appreciate a good tune when she hears one. The DaBaby feature I thought would be weird and out of place, but I think it might work? The jury’s out on that one still, because I don’t know if he adds a significant amount to this track. Dua definitely doesn’t need the help anyway because’s she’s incredibly versatile with her vocal performances and knows how to dominate a track. I’ll confess, I think this song is really great. It might, MIGHT, be Dua Lipa’s best song. I loved New Rules and all that, but disco Dua is something else. Feel good, vibrant, and fun. Everything you want from a pop song. A*.

6 – Joel Corry, RAYE, David Guetta “BED”

Right, where do I begin? I guess I start with the positives. RAYE is a good vocalist. Now the negatives. Joel Corry just doesn’t do it for me, I’m sorry if he does it for you. There’s nothing daring, innovative, or even unique about his music and I’m convinced he’s an industry plant, or maybe even an alien. This song is so boring and I feel like I’ve heard it a million times. Also, David Guetta is on here? I don’t know why. I don’t know what he’s adding, I don’t know why he’s involved in this song, I don’t know why he can’t just go back to making some decent stuff. I just don’t know. And, to be honest, I don’t even care. The lyrics are dull and unimaginative, too. I’m aware I’ve just taken quite a considerable shit on this song, but someone had to.

5 – Riton, Nightcrawlers, Mufasa & Hypeman, Dopamine “Friday”

This sample is boring. AJ Tracey did something fairly interesting with it, this line-up did not. Yes, it feels like a party vibe purely as a result of the colloquial nature of the hook, but it’s a bit of a copout and doesn’t truly feel like a serious song. Also, I hate what the “what” bit. That sucks. Proper cringe. I’m disappointed that this seems to be a hit. I sound like a bit of a Scrooge, but this is so painful to me. There’s a plethora of songs that fit the same vibe but do a much, MUCH, better job of executing it. One example is, coincidentally, the sampled track which definitely didn’t need to be reshaped in this quite honestly brutal fashion.

4 – Doja Cat, SZA “Kiss Me More”

So, here’s the thing. I am STARVING for new SZA music, but this just doesn’t scratch my itch. I know this is controversial, but I think she’s under utilised on here. However, Doja Cat gives a solid performance and seems to be rapidly maturing as an artist – finding her sound, branching out vocally and becoming a fascinating hybrid of rap, pop and dream pop. Hot Pink produced so many successful songs, which will definitely be hard to live up to, but I think, as a package, Doja’s next album will be a more cohesive sonic experience. “Kiss Me More” is a good lead single for this upcoming project, I just wish there was more SZA!

3 – Polo G “RAPSTAR”

“RAPSTAR” is a trap ballad, I guess? I don’t really know how I feel about it? I’m kind of shocked its the third most listened to song, to be honest. What’s weirder to me is that I know it’s been here for a while, too. Yeah, I’m neither here nor there with this. Actually, it’s fairly refreshing to have on this list considering its more toned down, delicate and emotional approach, I just don’t know if it resonates with me. It’s definitely not what I expected. Polo G’s lyrics are quite intriguing, though, and I feel like he has a lot of potential to produce a really great album – one that makes everyone stop and listen, marking it an instant classic. But I think that’s a year or two down the line.

2 – Justin Bieber, Daniel Caesar, Giveon “Peaches”

ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. That’s how I feel when this song comes on whenever I’m around. I hate it. I hate how the excellent features are just wasted! What was the actual point of getting Daniel Caesar and Giveon on this track? Because, as far as I can see, they don’t add anything. But they should! Because they’re great! “Peaches” isn’t even that much better than “Yummy” which is objectively one of the worst songs ever written. This wants to be cool so so so badly, so badly in fact that it becomes the absolute opposite. I’m repulsed by this song and how it appropriates a sound, setting, atmosphere without adding anything to it at all. The storyline on Spotify says “This one makes you wanna have the top down and drive by the beach and cruise with your friends” and that “It’s one of those records that makes you want to move and groove”. Imagine yourself in this world for one second. You’re driving by the beach, as that is essential according to Justin, and your friend puts on “Peaches” because they want to “cruise” and “move and groove”. Roughly how long do you think they’ll stay your friend? It’s such a ‘pick me’ type song that could only ever appeal to someone absolutely desperate to portray a life they don’t live, but want you to believe they do. Of course, this type of person is very, very rare, which makes it all the more obvious that this person is in fact Justin Bieber himself, sucking the life and soul out of Daniel Caesar and Giveon like some industry plant Dementor, doing anything to be mentioned in the same breath as these supremely talented artists without realising he just doesn’t have the musical chops for that to happen.

1 – Lil Nas X “MONTERO (Call Me BY Your Name)

It’s better than “HOLIDAY” that’s for sure. I think that’s it, though. Lil Nas X’s musical evolution has been interesting to watch, each song being somewhat standalone in it’s feel and presence in the musical landscape, and “MONTERO” is no different. What I will say about the artist is that he seems very dedicated to the package that each of his songs brings. For example, this track is implicitly sexual and conflates religious scripture with substance abuse as well as coming out. The music video also reflects this, as does the highly controversial shoe release, but these expand on the overall “MONTERO” experience. While I don’t particularly feel anything for the song, probably because it’s quite short and I don’t get to bond with it properly, I can appreciate the work rate of Lil Nas X and the artistic direction that guides his projects.

Overall, I’d say that the top 10 had 4 hits (deja vu, Levitating, Kiss Me More, RAPSTAR) and 6 misses. That’s not a particularly great haul but I’ve always been sceptical of these Spotify charts because I get the feeling they’re strongly driven by radio, retail and anything else that might rely on quick, current, easy listening to provide the type of atmosphere that isn’t really an atmosphere at all – just noise. Nevertheless, there are some diamonds in the rough, even though the rough does get very, very rough, especially in the case of “Peaches” and “BED”. Also, I’ve just had a flick through of songs 11-20, and I’m afraid to say it doesn’t really get much better, just based on the ones I’m familiar with (there’s a KSI one and oh my god his music sucks, but there is The Weeknd with Ariana Grande which is a huge positive). I feel bad for discrediting a lot of these songs because I do genuinely respect people who have the creative ability to achieve something as impressive as a top 10 single, it’s just that I don’t always like these songs. I think that’s just part of the musical experience though and is why music is so great, because there’s always something for everyone. It would be impossible to make a universally loved song and the people making them know that, so I don’t think they’ll mind my bashing of their art, especially on an article which probably won’t be read more than 20 times. However, if you did read, thank you for doing so, I appreciate it.

The 30-Day Song Challenge in One Day – Revisited (2021)

It’s almost one year to the day since I published my take on the ’30-day song challenge’ which, if you’ll recall, was one of MANY trends people kept themselves occupied with back when lockdown was still an interesting novelty. However, now that we find ourselves in the restrictive purgatory that is 2021, it’s only fitting that I should revisit what was my favourite ‘challenge’ from this time last year and update my choices. As I’m writing this intro, I’ve not checked which songs I opted for last time round, so at the end of each paragraph, I’ll include the tune that made it in 2020 so that we, together, can judge 2020 Tom.

A song you like with a colour in the title: The Stranglers – Golden Brown

What better way than to jump straight in the deep end with a song about heroin. Coincidentally, this must also have been a thought that crossed the mind of the four Stranglers, who took the drug as an artistic experiment prior to the writing of this track. One half of the group stopped using straight away, but two carried on. I’m not sure it’s the most sensible of artistic experiments, but each to their own, I guess. Great song though. (2020: BROCKHAMPTON – GOLD)

A song you like with a number in the title: Israel’s Arcade – 12 Regrets

What I’m going to do here is put you on to a song that has only just surpassed 400,000 plays on Spotify. I discovered it about two months ago and I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if I was accountable for at least 100 of those streams. Stemming from the Coachella Valley, Israel’s Arcade makes music that deserves to be listened to. This nostalgia fuelled track comes complete with glistening synths which beautifully juxtapose the Joy Division-esque vocal performance. (2020: Radiohead – 15 Step)

A song that reminds you of summertime: Chase & Status – Blk & Blu

I think I had to put something like this here and, as it happens, ‘Blk & Blu’ is the pinnacle of dance music. The beat switch in the middle gets you excited in the tightly-gripped wheel, shaking the car type of way and I’m obsessed. It’s everything I could want from Chase & Status who, for so long, have been the best at what they do. (2020: The Libertines – Don’t Look Back Into The Sun)

A song that reminds you of someone you’d rather forget: Olivia Rodrigo – Driver’s License

Yes, I’m a cliche. So what? I’ve fully embraced the fact that this song could probably go here on just about everyone’s version of this list, but its for a good reason! This song really is worth the hype. It’s beautiful. Everything about it, from the sound of Olivia’s mum’s car at the start to that bridge which cripples you, it’s perfect. There won’t be a better song than this all year. You’re lying if you say you’re not absolutely devastated when you hear this, and no matter how hard you try not to relate to the lyrics, you do so anyway. Emotional blitzkrieg. (2020: Drake – Nice For What)

A song that needs to be played loud: The Smiths – Bigmouth Strikes Again

BIGMOUTH LA DA DA DADA, BIGMOUTH LA DA DA DAA, BIGMOUTH STRIKES AGAIN! (2020: IDLES – Never Fight a Man With a Perm)

A song that makes you want to dance: ABBA – Voulez-Vous

The soundtrack to many sleepy drives to work when I’m in desperate need of perking up in the absence of coffee, ABBA are disco gods and rightfully so. Voulez-Vous has emerged as my favourite driver’s seat dance floor anthem and you best believe I’m backing up the vocals with the obligatory ‘Ah-ha!’ that this song forces into you. (2020: SAINt JHN – Roses – Imanbek Remix)

A song to drive to: The Smashing Pumpkins – 1979

When I’m not living out my Mamma Mia fantasies in the car, I’m having main character moments, gazing at the setting sun over the A roads. The Smashing Pumpkins are enablers in this episodic narcissism and ‘1979’ is usually the first song I put on when I set off, and when I do, I put the song on literally just before I find the bite, ensuring I get maximum driving time with it. Don’t judge me. (2020: The Neighbourhood – Sweater Weather)

A song about drugs or alcohol: The 1975 – The Birthday Party

Matty Healy is such a legend for being so open about his drug problems. “I depend/ on my friends/ to stay clean/ as sad as it seems”. Wow. It doesn’t get more open than that. I love The 1975, I love this song. It is so important to break down the stigma around addiction and to be quite honest, I’m tired of songs that glorify substance abuse. That’s why this is such a breath of fresh air and the honesty and bluntness in so much of the band’s music is a really positive force. (2020: The Verve – The Drugs Don’t Work)

A song that makes you happy: Joni Mitchell – Big Yellow Taxi

Yes, the irony is not lost on me of this song being chosen for this category. While Joni Mitchell sings of the damage being done to our world, I’m nodding my head to Joni’s infectious sonic experience. I think as much as it condemns environmental damage, it celebrates our planet through the exuberance of the music. (2020: Crystal Fighters – Love Natural)

A song that makes you sad: Phoebe Bridgers – Funeral

Phoebe was the only name I knew was going to make this list, it was just figuring out where to put her. Then, as I was skipping through her songs, ‘Funeral’ came on and it was just so clear that this was the song to make the cut. One thing I love about this track, and Phoebe’s wider discography, is the abruptness and sharpness of the lyrics. She has this way of going exactly where she wants to with her words and, as someone who writes poetry, I’m a tad jealous. She’s astonishing. (2020: Frank Ocean – Self Control)

A song you never get tired of: Radiohead – Paranoid Android

For me, this is the best song ever written, I think. It is also on the best album ever made, ‘OK Computer’. This song is like if Bohemian Rhapsody worked a 9 to 5 office job for its entire adult life and became a slave to the capitalist system. It is the Matrix made audible. A signpost of where we have been, what we are, and what is to come. A sonic dystopia. (2020: Travis Scott – Goosebumps)

A song from your preteen years: Lily Allen – The Fear

Lily Allen was so ahead of her time, and to think this song only came out in 2009. I loved it then and I love it now. The lyricism in this song, riffing off newspaper names and weapons of war, is some of the best I’ve ever heard. It doesn’t get the praise it deserves, but ‘The Fear’ is one of the noughties’ most potent and intelligent singles. (2020: The Kooks – Naïve)

A song you like from the 70’s: Fleetwood Mac – Landslide

It was this or ‘Dreams’ and I guess today I was feeling ‘Landslide’. Stevie Nicks is one of my all time favourites and this song in particular really tends to tug on the old heart strings. It’s about moving on, learning the art of acceptance and the uncertainty that comes with maturity – all things which strike a chord with me on a personal level, particular in 2021 as I go through another period of change in my life. (2020: Pink Floyd – Wish You Were Here)

A song you’d love to be played at your wedding: Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – Breathless

This song is Spring. The flurry of woodwind instruments at the start ushers in new beginnings and Nick Cave, who can so often be at the entirely other end of the spectrum, loses himself in love on ‘Breathless’. I can’t really explain it, but this song just makes me feel as if everything is going to be okay. (2020: Courteeners – Small Bones)

A song you like that’s a cover by another artist: Fugees – Killing Me Softly With His Song

Roberta Flack’s 1973 classic is beautiful, but Fugees stole the show on this one. Really, it’s because of Lauryn Hill who is just so effortless in her delivery. She’s unlike anyone I’ve ever heard and her place in music history borders on the divine, often feeling mystical and transcendent, standing alone amongst her contemporaries. (2020: Nirvana – Where Did You Sleep Last Night)

A song that’s a classic favourite: Pixies – Where Is My Mind?

I searched for this song for years, I’m not even joking. When I found it, I was overcome with relief that I had found the song which felt as if the world was ending. That’s how it sounds. It’s apocalyptic noise rock that could make even the most destructive end a thing of morbid beauty. Pixies outdid themselves on this one and created what is, essentially, the first song that feels mortal, feels terminal. (2020: Neil Diamond – Cracklin’ Rosie)

A song that you’d sing a duet with someone on karaoke: Frank Sinatra, Nancy Sinatra – Somethin’ Stupid

I refused point blank to choose ‘American Boy’, which seems to have become the number one go-to karaoke anthem when more than one person steps up to the microphone. Instead, I’ve opted for this timeless love song where, in my mind, I’m a 1960’s slicked crooner, equipped with the pinstripe suit and lolloping flower creeping out the jacket pocket. In reality, I’m a 21-year-old singing at the wall which, if it could, would probably put some ear protectors on. (2020: Lorde – Homemade Dynamite Remix)

A song from the year you were born: Dr Dre, Snoop Dogg – Still D.R.E.

Missed this one last time, didn’t I? For me, it’s a top five hip hop song easily. Everyone knows that iconic intro and the back and forth between Dre and Snoop is seamless, their voices, which land at either end of the spectrum, colliding, like atoms, to create a musical nuclear blast. (2020: Moby – Porcelain)

A song that makes you think about life: Echo & The Bunnymen – The Killing Moon

Donnie Darko is probably my favourite ever film. It has an incredible soundtrack. On this soundtrack is ‘The Killing Moon’. ‘The Killing Moon’ is a perfect song. It’s atmospheric and flirts with the cosmic whilst still being grounded in reality. It makes me think about mortality, the meaning of life, and a host of other incomprehensible philosophical studies that I’ll never fully come to terms with. I am inclined to impress this song onto everyone that reads this because I need to geek out about A) this song and B) Donnie Darko. (2020: Fleet Foxes – Helplessness Blues)

A song that has many meanings to you: Nirvana – About a Girl

Nirvana have soundtracked an embarrassing amount of my late teens/ early twenties. ‘About a Girl’ in particular just seems to get it, you know? Also, the acoustic version from the 1994 Unplugged is just as good, if not better, than the original recording from 1989’s ‘Bleach’. I guess this song feels young in the sense that it is simple – “I need an easy friend/ with an ear to lend” seems to encapsulate the essence of companionship in just two line, acknowledging the thread that runs through all the fluctuation of a relationship. (2020: Radiohead – True Love Waits)

A song you like with a person’s name in the title: DIIV – Bent (Roi’s Song)

“DIIV make music that combines shoegaze bliss with grunge catharsis” – is what the Spotify ‘About’ section says about DIIV. It couldn’t be more right. Listening to this song by itself is a stimulating sensory experience, but in the context of the album, my word. ‘Is The Is Are’ is the sophomore album that saw the band return from a lengthy absence, but it was worth the wait. It’s a corny saying, but you genuinely can get lost in this song and the album. (2020: Lily Allen – Alfie)

A song that moves you forward: The Cure – The Lovecats

This song feels like it should be in a musical, or a theatrical production, yet it feels right at home amongst The Cure’s incredible musical congregation. It transforms love into that primal, animalistic instinct that we’re familiar with – but gentrifies it. For some reason, when I listen to this song, I just see two black cats with white underbellies wearing top hats, striding arm in arm along a sidewalk in front of pink buildings. I have no idea where that comes from, but it is so vivid that I can’t shake it. LOVECATS! (2020: Fredo – They Ain’t 100)

A song you think everyone should listen to: Bring Me the Horizon, BABYMETAL – Kingslayer

The idea of suggesting this song to everyone is hilarious because I know most people will be like “wtf did I just listen to” and never listen again. But what I want you to think is “wtf did I just listen to” but with that same euphoric, wide eyed stare that you might solicit from a toddler when giving them a biscuit. It sounds like a video game that got lost in the pits of hell and emerged scarred – fighting between its nature and nurture. Crazy. (2020: U.S. Girls – Pearly Gates)

A song by a band you wish were still together: Sonic Youth – Incinerate

I could have picked ‘Teen Age Riot’, but recently it has been ‘Incinerate’ on my mind. Sonic Youth have a sound that I have become increasingly obsessed with. Their music is genre-bending and ‘Incinerate’ walks on a tightrope between the rock music of the 1960’s and the new wave grunge of the 1980’s and early 90’s. It’s a fantastic driving song too, if that’s your thing. (2020: The Smiths – Panic)

A song you like by an artist no longer living: Queen – Love of My Life

I chose this one because of what it is not. Queen’s music tends to be anthem and geared toward the stage, whereas ‘Love of My Life’ gets introspective and small when Freddie Mercury was often so much larger than life. I was watching Queen Rock Montreal the other day and when Freddie sat down at his piano and sung this, it was as if the crowd was put on pause. A thing of beauty from one of the finest band’s in history. (2020: Joy Division – Disorder)

A song that makes you want to fall in love: Taylor Swift – You Belong With Me

Taylor recently released her re-recordings of her older music and, when listening, I heard this song again for the first time in forever. Also, this rediscovery was aided by Conan Gray and Olivia Rodrigo dancing on the bed to this song on Instagram the other day but that’s neither here nor there. This song is a bona fide chick flick third act tune and I think that’s why I love it. The chord progression forces your hand and the next thing you know you’re pining for someone that doesn’t exist, but god you wish they did. (2020: Clairo – Bags)

A song that breaks your heart: Holly Humberstone – Fake Plastic Trees

Holly Humberstone’s cover of Radiohead’s 1995 single ‘Fake Plastic Trees’ goes somewhere that the original does not. Her voice is fragile and feels prone to breaking amongst the emotional weight of the song, but that is such a powerful thing. There’s an intense feeling of vulnerability and emptiness that permeates through this cover just from the way Holly cuts off the notes instead of prolonging them the way Thom Yorke did. (2020: Natalia Lafourcade – Danza de Gardenias)

A song by an artist whose voice you love: Ms. Lauryn Hill – Ex-Factor

I had to get Lauryn Hill back in here, didn’t I? This time separate from the rest of Fugees, Ms. Hill’s timeless classic ‘Ex-Factor’ is just so bloody good. It’s actually incomprehensible how she can sound like that. How does she do it? She’s so damn cool, man. (2020: The Weeknd – A Lonely Night)

A song you remember from your childhood: Rihanna, Jay-Z – Umbrella

A certified bop. Always been a massive Rihanna fan, always will. I remember this being on one of the ‘Now That’s What I Call Music’ albums we had in the car, back when CD’s were a thing and just rinsing this song over and over and over. I reckon you could play this song any time, any place, and everyone will go “WAHEEEEEY” when it starts. It’s one of those. (2020: T.I. – Whatever You Like)

A song that reminds you of yourself: Radiohead – Karma Police

Maybe it’s because this song is attached to one of two of the most difficult times in my life, or maybe it’s because the lyrics speak to me in a way that is entirely unique. Either way, I had to break my rule of one entry per artist for this song just because of how strongly I feel for it. The fact that it even exists is humbling to me and I’m so grateful for Radiohead as I really don’t know how I could have coped without their music at times. This song makes me feel like they’ve got my back and that’s just what I need when I listen to it. I feel empowered in the face of adversity, ready to face whatever comes my way, brushing the dust off as I get back up to my feet. (2020: Arctic Monkeys – Do Me A Favour)

So there we go, the list has been completed once again. If you’ve read this far, thank you. I don’t expect many people to read this and, to be honest, it’s more an exercise in catharsis than anything else. 2021 has been the toughest year of my life so far, but with music, I can cope just that little bit more. So, in order to say thanks to the artists that help me, I thought I’d recognise them in this post and share some of their work with whoever might read this and fancy giving some of these songs a listen. I really recommend all these songs and artists and have made a conscious effort to include a little bit of everything while not picking the easy options in the hopes that someone might stumble across one more song for their playlist or, perhaps, their next favourite artist.

Summer Sunset Playlist (contemporary edition)

Over the past few weeks I’ve been in search for the perfect ‘vibe’. A playlist to be played from golden hour until dark that soundtracks the evening like something out of a cult-classic indie film. With the compiled songs on this 25-track playlist, I think I’ve got pretty close to achieving the sacred ‘vibe’. It consists of music largely released in the last 10-12 years because naturally I’m planning a second playlist with a more nostalgic flavour to it. Anyway, here’s the list:

Claire Rosinkranz – ‘Backyard Boy’

MGMT – ‘Time to Pretend’

Tyler, The Creator – ‘See You Again’ (feat. Kali Uchis)

Mild High Club – ‘Homage’

Gus Dapperton – ‘I’m Just Snacking’

Glass Animals – ‘Heat Waves’

Clairo – ‘4EVER’

A$AP Rocky – ‘Sundress’

Frank Ocean – ‘Pink + White’

Giveon – ‘World We Created’

H.E.R. – ‘Best Part’ (Feat. Daniel Caesar)

The 1975 – ‘If You’re Too Shy (Let Me Know)’

Kevin Abstract – ‘Peach’

Yeek – ‘Only in the West’

Crystal Castles, Health – ‘Crimewave’

Steve Lacey – ‘Dark Red’

Blood Orange – ‘Charcoal Baby’

Sabrina Claudio – ‘Belong To You’ (Feat. 6LACK)

SALES – ‘Renee’

King Krul – ‘Easy Easy’

Ariel Pink – ‘Baby’

BROCKHAMPTON – ‘WASTE’

JOJI – ‘YEAH RIGHT’

Beabadoobee, Oscar Lang – ‘The Moon Song’

Wolf Alice – ‘Bros’

And that’s the list. I’ll be making it a Spotify playlist titled ‘Summer Sunset’ if you’re interested, just search for Tom Swindles and go on my playlists (shameless self-promo, yes I am very aware) and you will find it. The best thing about this particular group of songs is that I just know I’ve left some very obvious ones off, meaning anyone is very welcome to fill in the gaps with other songs that sound similar. Enjoy 🙂

Pop Smoke’s bitter sweet debut album ‘Shoot for the Stars Aim for the Moon’

It’s been a while since I’ve posted a blog, but while I’ve been gone some pretty significant things have happened in the music world. Kanye’s been doing Kanye things, Drake’s back to his best with a little help from DJ Khaled of all people, and we saw two posthumous albums drop in two weeks. Juice WRLD’s ‘Legends Never Die’ got the biggest first week of any 2020 album, but it is Pop Smoke’s 50 Cent produced debut album ‘Shoot for the Stars Aim for the Moon’ that has knocked me for six. Five months on from his untimely death at just 20 years old, the world finally got to hear what a full length commercial album from him would sound like and my god is it good.

Coming into the album I didn’t know too much about Pop Smoke apart from the occasional track, most notably ‘Dior’ which should go down in history as one of this generations greatest songs. His appearance on the JACKBOYS record also peaked my interest, with ‘GATTI’ essentially being the Pop Smoke gateway drug that eventually led to my addiction to this posthumous album. You only have to listen to one of his songs once to understand the appeal – his voice. Sounding like an American Abra Cadabra (if you know you know), his menacingly confident voice is enough to takeover any beat it appears on and you just get the feeling Pop Smoke was really about it. It’s no wonder he idolised 50 Cent when growing up, he’s essentially the second coming of him.

First of all, let’s give props to 50 Cent for doing such a great job with this album. When a young artist blows up and then passes away, it really can go one of two ways. It could go the XXXTentacion route whereby the label ruthlessly exploits any and every single studio recording to milk the brand while they’re still relevant, ultimately tarnishing the artist’s legacy and quality of their discography. OR it could go the Pop Smoke way, where the people in charge of handling the posthumous project truly nourish and care for it, creating a body of quality music for the fans to enjoy and the family to be proud of. 50 got involved because he knew how much he meant to Pop Smoke, especially as in interviews he has recalled the first time meeting the young star and how Pop Smoke was taking notes on everything 50 was saying to him. It was Pop Smoke’s dream to take his mum to an awards show, and 50 might have just given him the chance to do just that.

So listening to this project is a totally different experience to anything I’ve heard in a very long time. Pop Smoke had the potential to go to the very top of not just hip hop, but music as a whole. At just twenty years old it’s almost impossible to fully realise yourself as an artist, but listening to this album you know exactly who Pop Smoke is, and most importantly, you get the feeling that Pop Smoke knows who Pop Smoke is. His sound is so consistent, whether it be hard-hitting bangers like ‘Make it Rain’ or the more relaxed and sexual ‘Mood Swings’, every song is undeniably his. There are times when his flow and delivery appear to mimic something straight off 50 Cent’s ‘Get Rich or Die Tryin’ album but that’s more of an intentional ode to his idol, something 50 would have undoubtedly picked up on and left in on purpose. Not to fuel his own ego, but more to pay respect to someone who was inspired by him. After all, imitation is the best form of flattery.

I’ve watched several album reactions to this project and one thing that keeps coming up is not only that Pop Smoke knows himself, but that he knows his audience too. He knows how to create the tough, gritty bangers that get the boys hyped, evident in tracks ‘Aim for the Moon’, ’44 Bulldog’, and ‘West Coast Shit’. However, he’s also got a track or two for the ladies and it doesn’t take too much thinking to work out what ‘Mood Swings’ was made for. Pop Smoke was definitely a top shagger. Fair play to him. He just has that perfect balance of everything and lands right in the sweet spot of satisfying everyone who listens to his music (apart from all those boomers who are scared of hoodies and hate ball games).

But Pop Smokes stays true to the streets on this record, taking several shots at poor old 6ix9ine in several not-so-sneaky sneak disses. There’s literally one track called ‘Snitching’ which is so on the nose it’s literally covered in blackheads and rainbow-coloured bogeys. Then there’s the line that blew up on release day which reads “I don’t wan’t none of that extra loud shit, this ain’t none of that rainbow hair shit” which not only makes 6ix9ine look like a spoilt child, but simultaneously insinuates Pop Smoke’s attitude to beef. If there’s a problem, he’s not handling it over instagram stories, he’s keeping it quiet and away from the media. You can’t knock the guy for that, just further proof he knows who he is, really.

For me though, this album is bitter sweet because I absolutely love it. It’s got pretty much no skips and is all killer no filler, and at just twenty years old, there’s no telling how much more Pop Smoke had to offer music before that opportunity was taken from him. The album ends with the track ‘Got it on me’, Pop Smoke’s remix of 50 Cent’s ‘Many Men’. The fact that this is even here at all is testament to how great Pop Smoke was and how much 50 really believed in him. It’s not just anyone who gets to rework one of the best hip hop songs of all time, especially when it’s given the green light and assisted by the man who made it, but here we are and ‘Got it on me’ is pretty much perfect and, dare I say it, better? The album should have ended there really. Yes, the outro is good, but ending with ‘Got it on me’ is actually a perfect way to end an album. It’s just one of those tracks you want everyone to hear and everyone to love, and it annoys you that it hasn’t got more streams than it has because its probably the best song you’ve heard all year and now you’re writing really long sentences about it trying to explain just how good it is but you still can’t do it justice because it’s just THAT GOOD. Yeah, listen to it.

Also, on a sidenote, please appreciate how throughout this whole post I have not once referred to him as ‘Pop’. Because, as we all know, you cannot say ‘Pop’ and forget the ‘Smoke’.

Ranking the 50 Most Popular TikTok Songs From Worst to Best (part two)

Just to recap, we left off with places 50 – 26 decided in the search for the best TikTok songs money can buy. However, most of the songs in the previous list were pretty awful and only really became listenable the lower down they came in the rankings. In part two, you can expect a list where, not only will almost every song be at least semi-decent, the overall best TikTok song will be crowned. I know how desperate you must be to read this fascinating blog post, so I won’t continue to meander with unnecessary introductory paragraphs, so here’s the damn list:

25. Sleepy Hallow, Fousheé – ‘Deep End Freestyle’

A VERY iconic TikTok song gets the top 25 off to a pretty good start. It’s normally the first few seconds that people are interested in on ‘Deep End Freestyle’ due to the memorable sample and explosive entrance from Sleepy Hallow, but the rest of the song hits just as hard. It’s not too long, it’s all killer no filler, and it’s an unexpectedly solid delivery from the rapper. Good stuff.

24. Kina, Au/Ra – ‘Feel Again’

‘Feel Again’ is perfect for those of you who carefully curate sex playlists. Moody, raw, and intoxicating, the instrumental was designed for one thing and one thing only. Add on top of that the presence of male and female vocalists and it’s abundantly clear what Kina and Au/Ra were going for, and they pull it off.

23. Rod Wave – ‘Heart On Ice’

Okay. Yes it is a bit corny now but there is no disputing the power of Rod Wave’s vocal ability. He sounds like he’s in real pain when he sings, not in the Yoko Ono way, but in a really dominant and controlled manner. Undeniable talent.

22. Freddie Dredd – ‘Opaul’

This one is only really here because of how much I enjoy the first drop. It’s peculiarly unique. It shouldn’t work but it does. While I’m not overly enthusiastic about the verse, it does a decent job of breaking up the song and avoiding the label of ‘stale’ being applied to it. The three distinct parts grow progressively distorted and it’s definitely intriguing. Would suit a Travis Scott style remix possibly.

21. The Dave Brubeck Quartet – ‘Kathy’s Waltz’

‘Kathy’s Waltz’ is essentially the pistachio ice cream of this list. It’s almost exclusively enjoyed by the elderly or Starbucks-drinking, spectacle-wearing hipsters. The ‘memed bit’ is actually really sonically pleasing and relaxing, which is fairly surprising for something gaining traction from the frantic nature of TikTok. Quality little tune perfect for rainy days, if that’s your thing.

20. LIL MAYO – ‘Be Gone Thot!’

Maybe I’m a sucker for meme trap. Why do I enjoy this? I think I need therapy. The beat is disturbingly hard and the angelic ‘aaah’ that follows LIL MAYO’s declaration: “I’m a man of God” is that type of comedic gold that makes tracks like this somewhat viable. So bad its good? Or have I just lost all validity?

19. DaBaby, Roddy Ricch – ‘ROCKSTAR’

In what will undoubtedly be a controversial placement for some, this outrageously popular track was tainted for me by one Addison Rae. Her dancing haunts me like the most persistent sleep paralysis demon. I close my eyes and see her smile that is so enthusiastic it tears the sides of her face like Heath Ledger’s joker. Terrifying.

18. BENEE, Gus Dapperton – ‘Supalonely’

Hated it at first, but it grew on me massively. I’ve not listened to too much of BENEE’s catalogue, but I think ‘Supalonely’ is disguising a really great voice under there. She’s almost in her own lane with what she brings to the table and is definitely one to watch in the future. I was also happy to see the Gus Dapperton feature on here and for him to have another hit song after ‘Prune, You Talk Funny’ and ‘I’m Just Snacking’ which are two of my favourite songs from the last decade of music. Great stuff from the pair. Would love to see them link up again.

17. The Future Kingz – ‘3 Vets’

Renz, who handles the hook on ‘3 Vets’, should be bigger. He’s similar to Young Adz in the way that he completely carries his group. He’s got a crystal clear voice that is way too easy on the ears and could really benefit from a ‘T R A P S O U L’ style release where everything’s slowed down a bit and he can refine his craft further. Really solid track here, though, and despite the other members not being as memorable as Renz, they produce good verses and support well.

16. Hippie Sabotage – ‘Devil Eyes’

This relaxed slow-burner from Hippie Sabotage utilises its slow, atmospheric instrumentation to transport the listener to an eternal sunset where the alcohol never stops, leaving everything a golden haze. The absolute definition of a convertible car on an empty highway song. Oozes excellence for the entirety of the run time.

15. Surf Mesa, Emilee – ‘ily (I love you baby)’

Sliding seamlessly from one summer vibe to another, ‘ily’ whimsically remixes a classic for 2020. It’s one of those that could easily be a miss, but somehow sticks the landing despite twisting what is undoubtedly a lot of people’s all time favourite songs. It’s king of like Walter White’s ‘blue sky’ product. It’s in the same family as some really dangerous stuff, but is the pinnacle of its kind.

14. Trevor Daniel – ‘Falling’

This one really came out of nowhere, didn’t it? A grower not a shower, it’s gotten better on every listen for me. I just love songs as moody as this which carry a a certain sassiness in the way they handle experience and the future. It’s almost like Trevor Daniel is emerging from the darkness by the end of the track with the subtle piano and backing vocal fade out and I’m here for it.

13. Lil Mosey – ‘Blueberry Faygo’

Undeniably one of the biggest hits of the year so far, Lil Mosey certainly backs up his ‘Certified Hitmaker’ claim that serves as the title of his 2020 album. This one will have even the sworn enemies of hip hop nodding along and toe tapping. I wonder how many times people have just randomly burst into the chorus aloud when sat in their quarantine dungeons? Probably a lot.

12. Cookie Kawaii – ‘Vibe (If I Back It Up)’

Why is this not longer? There is so much remix/sample potential with this track that it’s actually incomprehensible. Short but sweet, its the perfect balance between punchy and calm, plosive and dreamy. I’ve honestly never heard anything quite like it and it kind of sounds like the future? After its viral success, don’t be surprised to hear more songs just like this.

11. Benny Benassi, The Biz – ‘Satisfaction – Uk Radio Edit’

One of several tracks experiencing a renaissance thanks to TikTok, this indisputable banger from all the way back in 2003 remains a timeless classic. It wasn’t until I got a proper speaker that I truly appreciated it, either. The base on the first drop is mind blowing. It crashes over you like a metallic wave of vibrations and unpredictability, leaving you in euphoria as Benny Benassi continues on with one of the most iconic dance tracks of all time. Probably should be higher on this list, but oh well.

10. Missy Elliott, Ciara, Fatman Scoop – ‘Lose Control’

I wish I was 18 in the mid noughties when this track dropped because I bet this was class in the club. Fatman Scoop is like the hype man that made it big as he goes ahead to force everyone “up” and gets their hands in the air. Missy Elliott is in top form too, with the addition of Ciara complementing her delivery flawlessly.

9. Lucas Estrada, Henri Purnell, NEIMY – ‘In My Fantasy’

We’re finally into single digits now, and what better way to begin than with this belter. Inexplicably good. Maybe its the whistling, maybe its the vocals, maybe its the production. Whatever it is, its great. The track came dangerously close to being too sweet and sugary, but stays its course without fault, leaving us with a delightful listen.

8. Topic, A7S – ‘Breaking Me’

The absolute best example of music that sounds like it belongs on Love Island. Not only is it an infectious summer dance track, but the vocals are so powerful that they elevate this track to transcendent status, pushing the boundaries for what can be done with songs like this. It almost carries a dance-for-your-life level of desperation which should serve as the perfect closer to a night out. One last hoorah.

7. Breakbot, Irfane – ‘Baby I’m Yours’

The ultimate meme song. First time listeners would be surprised to learn that ‘ladies and gentlemen, we got ’em’ is not a genuine part of this track. It outlives its meme because of its sheer genius which, I reckon, has a 99.9% chance of raising your mood after listening. Just a really good time.

6. Niko B – ‘Who’s That What’s That’

Once again, Niko B emerges from obscurity to deliver us an absolute banger. Walking the tight rope that tilters between comedy and seriousness, Niko B traverses the rope with ease, landing with genuine musical integrity rarely seen from artists who try to do the same thing. He might be a bit of a joker, but he’s got mad potential and this is just the start.

5. SALES – ‘Chinese New Year’

Not only is this one of my favourite TikTok songs, but one of my favourite songs I’ve discovered this entire year. It’s a kind of twisted nostalgia trip in the sense that it makes you recall memories you’ve never even had. Proper weird stuff. It’s genuinely so close to perfection its frightening. Absolutely in love with this track.

4. The Weeknd – ‘Blinding Lights’

In reality, this would never have made a list specially dedicated to TikTok songs if it hadn’t spawned a viral dance out of nowhere. It’s a really interesting reinvention of The Weeknd and its success is thoroughly deserved. You all know the song by heart at this point, so you all know how great it is. I don’t really need to say anything else, to be honest. A truly great song.

3. Gorillaz – ‘Dirty Harry’

Taking the bronze is ‘Dirty Harry’. It’s been around for ages, but I hadn’t heard it in such a long time before I descended into the murky underworld that is TikTok. I was so surprised to find that this track is normally supported by videos of people dressing up in various outfits, both serious and not so. I’m not too sure what the link is there, but I’ll take it if it means I get to write about one of Gorillaz’ best ever songs. It still sounds futuristic even now which just goes to show how competition-free Gorillaz are in the Pantheon of musical excellence.

2. Melanie Martinez – ‘Play Date’

First I had this song at 11. Then down to 7. Now it’s number 2. First of all, the conceit of kindergarten innocence is, ahem, genius. It works so damn well, especially when Martinez’ then proceeds to swear without a second thought during the hook. It knocks you for six because its just so unexpected from a song that audibly twinkles as much as this, but I LOVE IT. Melanie Martinez wrote all the songs on her debut album from the perspective of a character called ‘Cry Baby’ in the same way Tyler The Creator wrote ‘IGOR’. And it would appear that this is a recipe for success, as ‘Play Date’ continues to be revolutionary five years on from its release.

1. Juice WRLD – ‘Robbery’

And here it is, the best song that regularly appears on TikTok. And to be honest, its not even close. Despite his tragically short career, Juice WRLD left the world with as solid a catalogue as any artist, imprinting his name on the history of music with his genre-melding and innovation. ‘Robbery’ is a beautiful yet disturbing insight into the psyche of Juice WRLD and its performance, both recorded and live, is so fuelled by passion and emphasis that it can crack even the toughest of nuts. The piano coupled with the emotional vocals make for a truly iconic track. RIP Juice WRLD.

And that’s the list. It’s been about two weeks in the making all together and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from listening to Tiagz on repeat to understand what I thought about his music. This whole process will probably be repeatable somewhere down the line so I’ll most likely revive it at some point. Perhaps I’ll go easier on myself next time, and just stick to the songs that won’t give me PTSD from listening to them. Thanks for reading xoxox

Ranking the 50 Most Popular TikTok Songs From Worst to Best (Part One)

He’s only gone and done it. Spending the last week religiously listening to some of TikTok’s most popular songs was not something I ever thought I’d be doing but boy oh boy do I need the clicks. Following up to my previous post about TikTok songs, I’ve decided that I’m not quite done exploring the music that resides there. I kept hearing songs and thinking “how the hell did I forget about that one?”, so I’ve congregated 50 new songs (2 hours 28 minutes for just one listen :/) that avoided placements on my previous lists so I can do it all again. I’ll be ranking them from worst to best but due to this being the most extensive post I’ve written so far, I’m splitting it in two so you don’t get too bored of me listing my opinions over and over again. This first post will cover positions 50-26 so plenty of shits and giggles to be had here. Without further ado, here is my list:

50. Tiagz – ‘They Call me Tiago (Her Name Is Margo)

Kicking us off is Tiagz with what is possibly the worst set of rhymes I’ve ever heard in a hook. It sounds like he’s gone on Rhymezone and just picked the first four words that rhyme with his name and just prayed that they worked. They don’t. Proper year 4 level content here from Tiagz. Potentially the worst song I’ve ever heard.

49. The Boyboy West Coast – ‘U Was At The Club (Bottoms Up)’

Firstly, what is that name? Secondly, what is this song? It sounds like The Boyboy West Coast has put a deep filter on his voice to make him sound more macho or something and it really doesn’t work for him, poor bloke. He sounds like Alexa’s douchebag teenage brother living off But Light and Doritos. The Boyboy West Coast (WHAT IS THAT NAME?) is the harbinger of vest tops and frat parties. Get this off my playlist, now.

48. Tiagz – ‘My Heart Went Oops’

Wahey Tiagz is back, already. Having two of the worst three songs I’ve found on TikTok is almost impressive, to be honest. It’s more of the same from Tiagz, unfortunately. More disjointed bars that never really go anywhere, a dependency on the beat, and a half-arsed attempt at delivery come together like some twisted infinity stones to make a gauntlet that causes more pain and anguish than Thanos could ever have dreamed of.

47. StaySolidRocky – ‘Party Girl’

Somehow this song has seen a steady run on the Spotify streaming charts and I have to wonder, why? StaySolidRocky’s monotone delivery will send party girls home rather than have them on the dance floor. And the cheap YNW Melly imitation that he seems to do doesn’t help either. Proper boring buzzkill, this one.

46. Conkarah, Shaggy – ‘Banana’

No no no no no no no no. If you want to have a good idea about the level of quality in this track, just know that the dynamic album art is a banana with sunglasses on. A BANANA WITH SUNGLASSES ON.

45. MarMar Oso – ‘Ruthless (Nice Guys Always Finish Last)’

The incel soundtrack of the year. There’s just something so dodgy about men that label themselves the ‘nice guy’, isn’t there? That’s not really something you can decide for yourself, mate. There’s a reason this song is memed beyond belief and its always hilarious.

44. BMW KENNY – ‘Wipe it Down’

It makes sense in the context of the TikTok it accompanies, but try and listen to this song in its entirety without the videos, I dare you. It’s only 1 minute and 39 seconds long so on the surface it shouldn’t seem so bad, but I promise you that those will be the longest 99 seconds of your life.

43. Lil Keed – ‘Snake’

One of the many thousands of Young Thug disciples to emerge over the last few years, Lil Keed does little to diversify the well-trodden ground on which he walks, struggling to find his own voice and persona. Even if this was a Young Thug song, it would probably have been cut from any album it was intended for.

42. King Critical – ‘Why is Everything Chrome (Lean Swag Rock Wit it)’

In case it wasn’t explicitly clear, sampling Spongebob Squarepants is NOT a viable stylistic decision. If there’s one thing that King Critical has going for him here it’s that he sounds a bit like Freddie Gibbs. However, he’s not even close to Freddie Gibbs in the talent department, and this song sucks.

41. Yung Bae, bbno$, Billy Marchiafava – ‘Bad Boy’

Yung Bae has men all over the world wetting themselves in fear with his declaration: “I might just take your woman for a night”. Except, he doesn’t. just one of many laughable bars on a laughable track. The song is sort of disguised as satire, but it’s just one step too far toward bragging and arrogance to pull off what it was going for. It’s like when someone tells a lie so many times they start to believe it.

40. JoeVille – ‘Sexy’

Here JoeVille actually reveals something which is probably true: “you can do anything you want when you sexy”. ‘Hmm, he might be onto something’ you might think upon hearing this, but hang on, JoeVille then descends into explaining about how he is actually the sexy one and how everyone obviously thirsts after him. Spare us the bs, please.

39. Simple Plan – ‘I’m Just a Kid’

Reemerging from an early 2000’s time capsule, this pop punk anthem for kids just like Sid from Toy Story really shows its age in the contemporary musical landscape. If cheesy teen drama music is what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.

38. Bill Wurtz – ‘Just Did a Bad Thing’

A ‘butter wouldn’t melt…’ type of song, this one. Usually played over the top of people exploiting their family pets for likes on TikTok, ‘Just Did a Bad Thing’ takes the ‘kill them with kindness’ approach and applies it to music. Does this work? No. Death by marshmallow.

37. Sam Fischer – ‘This City’

Something about this song really rubs me up the wrong way. Maybe its how incredibly bland it is. Or maybe its how forgettable and unoriginal Sam Fischer is as an artist. ‘This City’ could have been sung by any number of straight white men with an acoustic guitar and scruffy facial hair, yet it appears Sam Fischer was the one the bottle landed on. Run of the mill, bog standard, uninspired.

36. KRYPTO9095, D3Mstreet – ‘Woah’

Perhaps the first song written by not one, but two people using their Xbox Gamertags as their stage names. The song is weirdly iconic just because of how popular hitting the woah seems to be, but that does not mean that this track is any good. In fact, it’s pretty poor. I get that its a bit of fun, but it just doesn’t hold up on a musical level.

35. Doja Cat – ‘Cyber Sex’

Explicit warning, here. Opening her album, Doja Cat immediately tells all her listeners: “Pussy all pink with a tan, And I play with it ’til my middle fingers are cramped up”. I cannot believe I just typed that out, Jesus bloody Christ. That’s just about as graphic as it gets and you have to laugh, if you don’t, you’ll cry. Cheers, Doja.

34. JP Saxe, Julia Michaels – ‘If the World Was Ending’

A real stinker here at number 34. One of those songs where the two vocalists hold an uncomfortable staring competition whilst they sing at each other. Whoever stops to play piano or hold their heart first, loses! As cringey as it gets so I’m sorry I had to bring it up. My apologies.

33. Robbie Doherty, Keees – ‘Pour the Milk’

A controversial placing from me, I reckon. I can hear the bucket hat wearing, gun finger wielding, wannabe sesh heads raging already. It’s not as god awful as the songs that have come before it, but I just cannot get behind the bizarre narrative that is going on between drops.

32. Bag Raiders – ‘Shooting Stars’

One of the most iconic meme songs of all time was given to us by Bag Raiders with ‘Shooting Stars’. You just couldn’t listen to this without laughing eventually as your mind’s eye sees you flying through the galaxy. The song just isn’t one for a serious listen.

31. Vicetone, Tony Igy – ‘Astronomia’

I could copy and paste what I wrote for ‘Shooting Stars’, here. What a meme this song accompanies, but yet again, a serious listen is out of reach.

30. Natalie Taylor – ‘Surrender’

This one sounds like a John Lewis Christmas advert that never made it. Instead, it probably ends up getting played over devastating moments of ‘heart break’ on shows like Love Island. I can picture it now, one fame hungry instagram model gets rejected by another fame hungry instagram model who fancies a different fame hungry instagram model as the fire pit slowly burns in the background.

29. Drake – ‘Toosie Slide’

It must be class being Drake. Literally anything he makes turns to gold, regardless of how little effort he actually puts in. On ‘Toosie Slide’, I feel that he’s probably not trying too hard. Compare this to songs like ‘Energy’ or ‘0 to 100 / The Catch Up’ and the respectable, ruthless Drake of the past seems a distant memory.

28. DJ Flex, Denise Belfon – ‘Put Your Back In It (Afrobeat)’

We’re pretty much out of the gutter by number 28 and it’s only up from here. ‘Put Your Back In It’ came as ‘Just Okay’ on my scale when I was ranking all of these songs. It’s fun and lively but lacks the cutting edge that later tracks will come to show.

27. G Herbo, Juice WRLD, Lil Uzi vert, Chance the Rapper – ‘PTSD’

Right, here’s my issue with this track. Too many features. What do Chance the Rapper and Lil Uzi Vert add that G Herbo and Juice WRLD couldn’t do themselves? There’s a genuine message here and I feel like it gets lost in the feature list. Get rid of those misplaced Chance and Uzi features and this song jumps 10-15 places on my list.

26. Nightcrawlers, MK – ‘Push the Feeling On – MK Dub Revisited Edition’

And finally, the best of the bad bunch is this Ibiza classic. I think Pitbull’s ‘Hotel Room Service’ really ruined this one, though. However, the song has longevity and is not done yet, especially with AJ Tracey and MoStack’s ‘Dinner Guest’ recently proving to be a huge summer hit. It just misses out on the illustrious top 25 spot, but I don’t think Nightcrawlers or MK will really mind what a second year uni student says about their track.

And that’s the first half of the list. Some really awful songs there for you to never ever listen to, especially the first 20 or so I listed. It’s genuinely quite amazing how some of these songs have found the light of day, let alone intense popularity. We have TikTok to thank for that, of course. Simultaneously the best and worst app around right now, I’m sure I could repeat this list in a year’s time and find some new songs to hate, and I probably will. I’ll be posting the second part in a few days if you fancy some slightly better musical recommendations then have a read of that one, too. Cheers.

Put Some Respect on Headie One’s ‘GANG’

Go into the comments section of Headie One’s latest music video ‘Rose Gold’ and you might find comments such as: “Fred Again crying into his almond yoghurt somewhere…”, “One day I went to Fred, Now I don’t go back to Fred Again”, and “This is the Headie we missed not that one from that gang album”. Baring in mind all these comments have accumulated hundreds of likes, it’s interesting then that ‘GANG’, which has seen so much slander from drill music enthusiasts, is actually Headie One’s most critically acclaimed musical endeavour. After numerous 5 star reviews, you’d think that the critics consensus would have been echoed by genuine fans. But that’s really not the case here. ‘GANG’ was a big leap in Headie One’s musical evolution and he himself has said that “I’d be holding back my talent” if he only stuck to drill music. Yet this appears what a large portion of his listeners want judging by the comments of the ‘Rose Gold’ video and countless tweets upon the release of ‘GANG’.

So, why is that? Why is experimentalism discouraged in artists like Headie One from grassroots fans? Firstly, I think a lot of it is because Headie One is frighteningly good at making drill music. His voice is unique and so is his delivery. It’s effortless. Characterised by his expressionless face whilst delivering his chillingly calm bars, Headie One quickly emerged as one of the front runners in the drill scene thanks to tracks ‘Know Better’ and ’18HUNNA’. 2019’s ‘Music x Road’ was where Headie One really moved ahead of his contemporaries with what was a pivotal release in the history of the genre. There were hints that a musical progression to something like ‘GANG’ might be coming, but I don’t think anyone really expected it this soon if at all. Listeners probably anticipated more of the same from ‘GANG’ and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, especially as Headie is seen by many as having the potential to be the GOAT of drill. If this was his ambition, more drill music would have made sense, but clearly Headie One was looking for something more and genuinely believes in his own ability to move out of the genre and hold his own.

I also think that the nature of drill music played some part in the mixed reception to ‘GANG’ and understandably some fans of Headie’s drill might have felt betrayed by a shift toward music that they felt at odds with. Drill music is an expression from the unexpressed, an often grizzly detailing of life beneath the surface of society. It exposes the lengths people have to go to in order to survive the environment they were born into, with illegality being unfortunately pivotal in the lives of those striving every day. Despite what your grandma and various other tweed-wearing gentry might say, the lifestyle depicted is never glorified or glamourised, it is simply an outlet for a repressed youth to express themselves and their struggle. So, when Headie One makes a musical shift away from this, its a subconscious shift away from the culture too for those that think that way.

But, in reality, ‘GANG’ is a musical triumph and paves the way for the future of drill music and British rap. Recycling the first track from ‘Music x Road’, Headie One and Fred Again kickstart the album in the most genius way, immediately informing the listener that the following will be the same content as before but told differently. Cutting the track up and sprinkling piano throughout, the song builds in momentum as the vocal experimentation from Headie begins. This escalates in the title track which follows and I think this is moment of the album when I felt that I was in for a unique experience. ‘GANG’ is subtle and confessional, as is the rest of the album, and sees Headie reflecting on the work his parents did for him and calculating how he will repay them. He recalls the actions that led him to jail and the toned down instrumental from Fred Again gives him the perfect platform to do this.

The features on this record are expertly chosen too. the FKA Twigs instrumental ‘Judge Me’ is just the typical beauty we have come to expect from her, and the Sampha assisted closing track ‘SOLDIERS’ dovetails the most emotionally driven drill record to date. Jamie xx’s appearance on ‘Smoke’ helps to make it perhaps the single most notable moment on the record’s 22 minute run time where it sounds like the future is being written. It’s almost dance music but not quite. It’s jumpy and atmospheric whilst still being punctuated by the raw emotion that Headie One continually spills all over the track list. I wasn’t sure on the track at first, but that’s just because I’d never heard anything quite like it. Naturally, a few listens later, I loved it. I think what Headie One and Fred Again have done on this record is something that won’t be immediately appreciated by its core audience but will have a long lasting impact on the genre from which Headie One stems. Slowly but surely, this record will gain the respect it deserves from drill music fans as the limits of the genre continue to be tested and expanded.

Really, this album has only been slept on because it is different. That’s it. Artistic experimentation should always be encouraged in all genres to avoid music become stale and vapid, and ‘GANG’ is just the beginning of what is to come in the 2020’s. I just hope Headie One stays true to this course and doesn’t feel the need to limit his huge potential by rinse and repeating tried and tested formulas. He’s set himself up for musical greatness here and hopefully more artists follow in his footsteps when it comes to diversifying their sound. There will be hits and misses, but music as a whole will benefit from it. Just like he shows on the cover of this album, Headie One is looking up whilst everyone else is simply looking straight ahead, masterfully connoting his inevitable ascension to the very top of his game.

Album Review: Charli XCX – ‘how i’m feeling now’

Coming to us from the ambiguity of lockdown, Charli XCX follows up 2019’s ‘Charli’ with her fourth studio album, ‘how i’m feeling now’. It’s a big ask for a project put together in five and a half weeks to follow such a spectacle as ‘Charli’, but this latest effort feels like the perfect sequel to the incredible heights of last year. Where ‘Charli’ invited many other artists onto its setlist, including the likes of Lizzo, Troye Sivan, and Christine and the Queens, ‘how i’m feeling now’ sees Charli XCX stepping out and proving her ability to carry a project entirely on her own. This album looks to consolidate what the Charli XCX sound is, with production from the likes of 100 gecs’ Dylan Brady, Cook, BJ Burton and others helping to nourish and mature what listeners have come to expect from the 27-year-old artist.

Unlike many of us, Charli seems to have had an overwhelmingly productive lockdown, fuelled with determination and grit, evident from the outset with track 1 – ‘pink diamond’. “I just wanna go real hard” is Charli’s mantra on the track as she catches lackadaisical listeners unaware and forces that sort of sit-up-straight-and-pay-attention experience that commands 100% attentiveness. It’s menacing and venomous, it’s title merely a ghillie suit atop a deadly sniper of noise. Sonically, it somewhat resembles Chase and Status’ 2017 hit ‘Control’ with the grungy, commanding hook confirming beyond any doubt that Charli is indeed going “real hard”. It’s a bold way to start this album, but my god does it pay off. One hell of a track to kick things off.

From there, we transition to ‘forever’, a calmer yet not totally relaxed song dealing in Charli’s affection for her significant other. In the lyrics, Charli defies space and time, repeating “I’ll love you forever” whilst the track steadily builds in pace, resulting in a reassuring climax where the whirlwind sounds that accompany the first two verses escalate to an ambush of noise, then calm before the song’s close, never leaving the subject of the song in doubt over Charli’s feelings toward them. This song is the first moment of the album where the 100 gecs influence might be alluded to, but by the time the third track ‘claws’ rolls round, Charli has gone full gec. To those who aren’t aware of 100 gecs, they’re pretty mad. I’m not sure I’m really qualified to even try to explain what their music sounds like, so I’d recommend a listen for yourself to fully grasp what is going on in ‘claws’. The lyrics aren’t too complicated, but sonically ‘claws’ is a real treat for the ears. If it were a sweet, it’d be sherbet. (I’m losing my mind).

So far, Charli is 3/3 in my book, but that’s about to become 5/5. ‘7 years’ and ‘detonate’ are perhaps two of my favourite songs in the Charli XCX catalogue, with the former’s punctuated chorus worryingly catchy considering the pace it’s delivered at. It’s one of those that makes you head over to Genius to catch what she’s singing just so you can sing along to it which, for me, is always a good sign. And when we do pick up the lyrics, we learn of Charli’s initial issues about opening up to her partner and how that time felt like living a lie, but now she has moved beyond this, marking a significantly positive change in her life and allowing her to deliver this banger of a track. At the close of the track we are launched into ‘detonate’. ‘Detonate’ is to ‘how ‘m feeling now’ what ‘ilomilo’ is to Billie Eilish’s ‘WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO?’ in the sense that it’s just so damn listenable. It’s the least ‘in your face’ song on the track list so far and the record benefits greatly from its light, bubbly sound. It almost works in reverse to ‘pink diamond’ with the whole evasive title motif that Charli appears to be fond of. This time, the explosive connotations of the title are shrugged off and replaced with the comfy white pillows on the album cover.

With the next two tracks ‘enemy’ and ‘I finally understand’, Charli continues her solid performance at a point in the album where others artists might drop off. The songs are further consolidation of the evolved sound that Charli XCX has developed over the past two years. Sometimes it is hard to believe that this album is by the same artist as ‘Boom Clap’ and that, ladies and gentlemen is called growth. ‘I finally understand’ borders on garage music and is a bit of a change from the rest of the album so far. It’s refreshing and sticks out, giving listeners the inevitable toe taps if they’re not already bopping along in sync. A highlight on the album for me.

The next one is ‘c2.0’ – the one I was perhaps most excited by when I heard the opening. It confirmed to me that this was the sequel to ‘Click’ which appeared on 2019’s ‘Charli’ and was probably my favourite track on that record. It’s completely mental ending almost destroyed my speaker and gave me transformers vibes with the alien sounds that it brought to the table. It was hard-hitting and furious, yet ‘c2.0’ is quite different to that experience. It’s more in tone with the atmosphere Charli creates on this new album and the clickety-clackety robot ASMR sounds are now accompanied by what might be described as musical dreamcatchers or windpipes. These sounds come at the front of the track instead of the back which is symbolic of a song turned inside-out and entirely reinvented. I think I would have loved it if I had not heard ‘Click’ before, which remains my favourite of the two versions. Still good though.

‘party 4 u’ is, for most, embarrassingly relatable. Charli sings “I only threw this party for you, I was hoping you would come through” as the listener recalls all the unnecessary things they’ve done to get the attention of someone else. Nevertheless, Charli seems to somehow make it stylish, bringing back her trademark flow previously seen on ‘Next Level Charli’ which always hits so. Damn. Hard. It’s a great section that breaks up the track perfectly, I just wish we had more of it, to be honest.

And just like that, ‘anthems’, the penultimate track on the album, grants my wish. It brings with it that musical ferocity that I’m clearly a sucker for. I just love to see an artist go wild, and this is exactly what happens on ‘anthems’, with Charli reminiscing on late night partying with her friends from the relative prison that is lockdown, no matter how necessary it is. We’re all yearning for that next drink in the pub, that next “been busy, mate?” question to the taxi driver, that next sweet release of club night euphoria, and Charli gives us the perfect song for our restless mood. Then, she hits us with the closing track ‘visions’ which continues to fuel this partying lust we find ourselves in. Pounding drums and nostalgic synths transport the listener to the chaotic trance of the dance floor, abrasive lights blinding those who care to look up from the ritual. It works perfectly with ‘anthems’ that precedes it, and with this pair of tracks, Charli XCX ends what is a water-tight album.

‘how i’m feeling now’ is an excellent expansion on the Charli XCX catalogue, never over-staying its welcome at a 37 minute run time. Initially I had my doubts about the total purging of features in comparison to 2019’s ‘Charli’, but the variation and range in Charli’s voice is so unique that it comfortably makes up for what might have been there. Additionally, the consistent use of vocal effects keeps the listener engaged, and never once does the listening become stale. However, I do not feel that this new record is quite as good as ‘Charli’. There are reasons for this which are perfectly acceptable and largely out of Charli’s hands because of the current state of the world. Firstly, she put this whole project together in five and a half weeks. That is insane. For reference, I’ve been doing my Shakespeare essay for roughly the same amount of time and I’m positive its almost hopeless. Secondly, the features were so damn good on ‘Charli’ that I would have loved some reappearances from them as they all had prefect chemistry with Charli. Obviously that was never possible in such a short span of time but hey, I’m allowed to want. Lastly, it would have been almost impossible for any artist to follow up on a project so incredibly complete as ‘Charli’ as that is essentially her magnum opus. Instead, Charli gives us yet another classic album, different enough from ‘Charli’ to hold its own, yet similar enough to mature her unique sound and develop as an artist.

This is my first proper review of a new album so I’m still trying to figure out how I want the format of these to work. So, instead of giving this project a star rating or a number out of ten, I’ll just tell you to bloody listen to it. It’s really good and I’d definitely recommend it if you want to listen to what pop music should/could be if we were blessed with more artists as talented as Charli XCX.

Favourite Tracks: pink diamond, claws, 7 years, detonate, I finally understand, party 4 u, anthems, visions.

The Strange Phenomenon of TikTok Music

Over the past two years, TikTok has been gaining momentum at a rate never before seen for a social media app. With 800 million active users and 1.5 billion downloads on the App Store alone, TikTok has pretty much taken over popular culture in this era of uncertainty. With the world in lockdown, more and more people turn to it every day for a bit of light hearted relief and to recreate the viral dances that smash millions of likes constantly. Music is an essential part of the platform and forms the basis for countless punchlines and pivotal moments on the app, and as a result the music that gains traction on TikTok subsequently spills over to the mainstream charts, finding popularity beyond its viral origin. Of course, it also works in reverse with already well known songs getting a second life, but there is a certain sound that runs through almost all songs that dominate the platform and this has now become the aspiration for artists when they create new music. Essentially, an entire career can be made by just getting one song to blow up, and as a result more and more names are popping up atop the charts for the first time, braking the monotony of pop music that has become so stagnant over the past decade.

So, what exactly makes a TikTok song? Firstly, and this is vital, it needs to be catchy. It needs to reverberate inside your head for days on end, never coming out until you’ve exhausted it with countless replays. It needs to become an ear worm immediately, and a stubborn one at that. One that won’t come to the surface no matter how many times you stamp on the ground. Secondly, if its going to have a viral dance, it’s got to have a ruthless rhythm. The beat has to be more more infectious than COVID-19 and have its victims sub-consciously head bopping from the moment of transmission. Thirdly, the lyrics have to be spot on. These can form the basis of punch lines OR be the influence to whatever half-arsed dance moves accompany the previous two ingredients in this popularity potion. For example, Auntie Hammy’s song (if you want to call it that) ‘Pew pew pew’ contains the lyric “Hold up, wait a minute, issa chopper” and thus has millions of kids mimicking shooting at the camera with their gun fingers. You love to see it.

There is definitely a formula for TikTok success and honestly I have nothing but respect for up and coming artists for following this method. The music industry, now more than ever, is a popularity contest, so why wouldn’t you make a catchy song that is destined to be heard by millions if you’re new in the game? So, what’s your excuse Drake? If there was one artist who was inevitably going to jump on this trend, it was going to be Drake. He’s done it with every musical trend over the past decade, and to his credit he usually does it quite well. He was quick onto the dancehall vibe with ‘One Dance’ and ‘Controlla’ from 2016’s ‘Views’, and he even pops up as a pseudo roadman every now and then. But he’s back again in 2020 with ‘Toosie Slide’, instructing his listeners to “left foot up, right foot slide” their way to viral fame. Sonically, its a pretty mediocre track – not bad, not good, but my word did the TikTok community take it and run. The song itself is named after a TikTok star who supposedly helped Drake formulate a dance for the track that would be a certified sensation. From where I’m positioned, its a pretty shameless clout-grab from Drake who is already one of the most dominant artists in the world, but he’s a hustler at the end of the day and he’s come through with the goods, just like he always seems to do.

On the other hand, TikTok has been a sure-fire way to cement an artist’s place in musical history, and what better example than Doja Cat? Ironically, this time I don’t think that viral TikTok stardom was what she set out to achieve with ‘Say So’, it just sort of happened. The track was initially over-looked by many on her 2019 effort ‘Hot Pink’ with tracks like ‘Rules’ and ‘Juicy’ being the lead singles of the album. Nevertheless, Doja Cat is pretty much the face of TikTok right now and has secured a Billboard Number One as a result of it. But why? Well, I think it’s down to her energy, charisma and vibe that she brings on her music. She’s fun, youthful and a breath of fresh air. She doesn’t take herself too seriously yet cares about her craft meticulously, translating her sense of humour and mannerisms into her music, making her songs perhaps the greatest example of pure, explosive personality in music right now. In other words, she was destined for success the very second that TikTok became big. She is synonymous with the atmosphere that exists on the platform, and it was all coincidental. If you want an insight into what I’m talking about, watch her Kenny Beats freestyle on S1E7 of ‘The Cave’.

TikTok has effectively taken over control of the charts. Not that the charts should be strictly adhered to as the holy text of music, but it does generally give a fairly decent insight into what people are listening to, especially now that apps like Spotify and Apple Music tend to dictate who sits at number 1. Instead of sales and air play, which can be heavily manipulated by record labels, the charts are now largely based on streams which allows TikTok songs to break into the top 10 with considerable ease. Going on to the ‘United Kingdom Top 50’ on Spotify as I’m writing this, I associate six out of the top ten as being either explicitly TikTok songs or songs that are heavily featured on the app, these being: The Weeknd – ‘Blinding Lights’, Drake – ‘Toosie Slide’, SAINt JHN – ‘Roses (Imanbek Remix)’, Powfu, Beabadoobee – ‘death bed (coffee for your head)’, Lil Mosey – ‘Blueberry Faygo’, and S1mba, DTG – ‘Rover’. While it could be seen that TikTok is simply piggybacking off of songs that were popular or were going to be anyway, All of these songs, with perhaps ‘Blinding Lights’ being the exception, I would wager have been specifically engineered to appeal to a TikTok audience, or at least one subconsciously influenced by its grasp on 2020 culture.

The worst thing for me is that I don’t think this is an inherently bad thing, either. Much to my dismay, I’ve found myself listening to some TikTok songs unironically, and what’s worse is that even the ones which are obviously terrible tend to slip out of my mouth subconsciously. However, the app has genuinely put me on to some great music. So long as you can make your way through all the ‘Dance Monkey’ and ‘Someone You Loved’ nonsense, you’re well on your way to finding some pretty good stuff. So, I have decided to make a list of the ten best songs I have found on TikTok so far, and also the ten worst. I couldn’t help myself.

The Worst TikTok Songs So Far:

10. Megan Thee Stallion – ‘Savage’

I honestly feel bad for this one. I like Megan Thee Stallion as an artist and she has bags of potential, but I just cannot get that stupid Carol Baskin version of this out of my head when I listen to it. I blame that one girl who wrote all the lyrics out on her face using mascara as if that would be funny. It wasn’t. That TikTok is my new sleep paralysis demon.

9. Surfaces – ‘Sunday Best’

This just sounds like a BTEC Rex Orange Country, to be honest. It’s so incredibly vanilla and offensively inoffensive. In other words, perfect for a TikTok song. The lyrics sound like a year 7’s entry to a poetry competition they never wanted to enter but their English teacher made them. Not Good.

8. 645AR – ‘Yoga’

Is this song a joke? I honestly have no idea. If so, very well done, sir. If not, deary me. It’s perfect for the memes and provides a great punchline for some of my favourite TikTok’s, but as a song its just unlistenable.

7. Jack Harlow – ‘WHATS POPPIN’

The beat carries what is essentially a cringe fest. I look at Jack Harlow and just don’t believe any of the gloats he makes in ‘WHATS POPPIN’. I shouldn’t judge people on looks, however, so instead I’ll judge the musical content. It’s run of the mill, bog standard trap music. Nothing special here. Props to JetsonMade and Pooh Beatz for a good beat, though.

6. Blueface – ‘Respect My Cryppin’

This song has a place in my heart for the unreal memes it has generated on TikTok. Whether its Beetlejuice pulling up to the Howard Stern Show for the first time in his all white tux, or Köksal Baba handling business in Turkey. Despite this, appreciating it as just a piece of music is something I don’t think I can do. Blueface surely writes his bars before he hears the beat.

5. Lil Uzi Vert – ‘That Way’

Who told Lil Uzi Vert it would be a good idea to remix Backstreet Boyz? Whoever did clearly didn’t want the best for him. I actually can’t believe this exists. Im both transfixed and appalled simultaneously. This is the soundtrack to a lucid dream.

4. Auntie Hammy – ‘Pew pew pew’

The reason this song isn’t higher up is because I’m not convinced its actually a song? It must be? But is it? I have no idea, truly. Anyway, it’s terrible and so are all the countless videos of people miming along to it. I never want to hear this one again.

3. Maroon 5 – ‘Memories’

This is grim listening. Never in the history of music has a band had such a rise in popularity as a result of such a decline in musical integrity. Listening to ‘Memories’ is like eating chicken which hasn’t been properly cooked through. You’ll take it because you’re desperate but it will leave you sick for days and you’ll never make that mistake again.

2. Christina Perri – ‘human’

Christina Perri is back at it again with the ‘butter-wouldn’t-melt-in-my-mouth’, quasi-inspirational, ‘Sad Hours’ playlist filler. “I can do it, I can do it, I can do it, But I’m only human” is a line so relentlessly terrible that it haunts me. Its a very cringey song.

1. Tones and I – ‘Dance Monkey’

It honestly couldn’t be anything else. It’s music’s equivalent to Lord Voldemort. It’s death eaters are kids raised on a diet of Fortnite and toy unboxing youtube videos. Only the bravest dare speak its name. Evil personified.

The Best Tiktok Songs So Far:

10. SAINt JHN – ‘Roses (Imanbek Remix)’

SAINt JHN probably owes Imanbek the world at this point. ‘Roses’ is a classic TikTok bop and pleasantly transcends the platform, becoming what would have been an Ibiza classic if it were not for coronavirus. It’s got longevity though, so should last for many summers to come.

9. Kanye West – ‘Wolves’

Seeing a resurgence as the backing track to ‘moment of clarity’-style TikToks, ‘Wolves’ often accompanies witty captions, such as “when you realise lamps in video games use real electricity”. It’s lazy humour but that’s what makes it great. Kanye’s track amplifies the pseudo-scientific nature of the captions and its glorious.

8. Alt-J – ‘Fitzpleasure’

Again, another older track seeing a revival as a result of humour. This time, ‘Fitzpleasure’ usually accompanies dark humour, perfectly juxtaposing the Alt-J sound. One of the band’s best songs and often under appreciated.

7. DaBaby – ‘BOP’

Salt and Pepper. Knife and Fork. Sweet and Sour. DaBaby and a flute. All these things are in perfect harmony when with the other. DaBaby is a certified hit making machine right now, and ‘BOP’ is one of his best efforts. He’s sort of the male Doja Cat in his meteoric rise to the top, dominating the TikTok and music scene for the foreseeable future.

6. DripReport – ‘Skechers’

Similar to Zack Fox and Kenny Beats’ ‘Jesus is the One’, ‘Skechers’ is another jokey song that actual slaps. The beat is killer and the comedic vocals raving about light-up Skechers are ironically cold. I wish it was longer and I also wish it gets a mad remix. The beat is crying out for Offset, Travis Scott, NBA Youngboy or A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie.

5. Powfu, Beabadoobee – ‘death bed (coffee for your head)’

I hated it, but now I love it. It’s way too catchy for its own good, but I think it genuinely has a nice message behind Powfu’s lyrics. Additionally, Beabadoobee’s hook is that specific type of minimalist affection that strikes a chord with so many listeners. The TikToks that usually go with it are pretty dreadful, but at least the song isn’t.

4. Polo G, Stunna 4 Vegas, NLE Choppa, Mike WiLL Made It – ‘Go Stupid’

It’s all fun and games watching the TikToks that this tune usually accompanies, but once you realise how hard this song slaps, it’s never the same. Each one of the artists rides the beat perfectly, and my word, that beat. It could have a hundred verses and I would never skip any of it.

3. Aaron Smith – ‘Dancin (Krono Remix)’

It is so so so good. Possibly one of the only songs that has found popularity of TikTok that spawns genuinely good dances to it. My personal favourite is John Stones cutting shapes in the Manchester City dressing room that I don’t think anyone could ever have expected from a bloke who started his career at Barnsley. Another song locked and loaded for the end of quarantine.

2. Molchat Doma – ‘судно (Борис Рыжий)’

Yes, I did copy and paste that. Translating to ‘Vessel’, a famous poem by Russian poet Boris Ryzhy, the song is one of those rare finds that makes sifting through endless TikToks worth it. It encapsulates the aesthetic of post-communist Russia fantastically and provides a rare insight into a country that often seems so distant to us in the West. A masterful song.

1. WILLOW – ‘Wait a Minute!’

Who would have thought that the ‘I whip my hair back and forth’ girl would come through with such a masterstroke? What’s more impressive is that she released it when she was 15 years old. That is nuts. There’s a Bjork twinge in her voice that comes through on this track that adds another level on top of what is already quality listening. I wish more of her songs were like this, then we might really be on to a great artist. The foundations are there and Willow will undoubtedly pull through with her magnum opus this decade.

The 30-Day Song Challenge in One Day

I am incredibly inconsistent. This decision reaches you from the inevitable quarantine bedroom where my plan to post weekly blogs has, also inevitably, faltered. Amid postponed essays and a Tiger King binge, I’ve been tempted to take part in the 30-day song challenge, but knew I’d forget to do a day and then try to make up for it with two in a day before quitting altogether. This is why I’ve decided to just get it out of the way and do it all in one go, therefore fulfilling the completionist within whilst simultaneously saving my Instagram followers from thirty days of nonsense. I’ll offer a line or two as to why certain songs have been selected for their corresponding days for anyone interested. So, without further ado, let’s kick it off.

1. A Song You Like With a Colour in the Title: BROCKHAMPTON – ‘GOLD’

A solid, solid pick for day 1, I think. Taken from 2017’s ‘SATURATION’, ‘GOLD’ was BROCKHAMPTON’s gateway drug in many senses. The members of the self-confessed “boyband” line up one-by-one on the track, introducing their own unique flows and deliveries atop a killer beat, punctuated by a braggadocious hook which demands respect from their contemporaries. As good an introduction as any.

2. A Song You Like With a Number in the Title: Radiohead – ’15 Step’

Perhaps my favourite band of all time, Radiohead open their seventh (eighth if you count ‘I Might Be Wrong’) studio album with an infectious body mover which really comes to life when the band perform it live. Thom Yorke cannot keep still whilst he delicately sings over the top of this unimaginably clever musical masterpiece. This is the song that makes any listener into an involuntary body-popper and it’s great.

3. A Song That Reminds You of Summertime: The Libertines – ‘Don’t Look Back Into The Sun’

This challenge really had to do this to us didn’t it. Just when summer looks like it’s already over for so many of us, it wants us to think of that golden pub garden paradise that is summer. Oh well, if we’re gonna go there, it might as well be to ‘Don’t Look Back Into The Sun’. The Libertines gave us Brits possibly one of the most iconic British songs of all time and is ingrained in the hearts of many. Everyone’s belting this one out, dark fruits in hand.

4. A Song That Reminds You of Someone You’d Rather Forget: Drake – ‘Nice For What’

A great song, truly. Definitely one of the better efforts from 2018’s ‘Scorpion’ which was a bit of a mixed bag, let’s be honest. However, as is custom with songs that remind you of someone you’d rather forget, this one gets the skip treatment when it sneaks onto the shuffle. Next!

5. A Song That Needs to be Played Loud: IDLES – ‘Never Fight A Man With A Perm’

“CONCRETE TO LEATHER” – who is not screaming that out when the chorus comes round? IDLES gave us a contender for album of the year in 2018 with ‘Joy as an Act of Resistance’, filling it to the brim with unapologetically explosive head-bangers and when performed live, the anthem puts the crowd into a euphoric trance, with the band commanding the mosh pits as if they were a charmer and the audience the snake.

6. A Song That Makes You Want to Dance: SAINt JHN – ‘Roses – Imanbek Remix’

A relatively new track in comparison with some of the others that have come before it in the list, ‘Roses’ has you moving before you even realise you’re doing it. I’m currently praying this song is still in DJ cycles by the time quarantine is over because I know full well I’ll be cutting shapes I didn’t know were possible to this track after a few jaeger bombs.

7. A Song to Drive to: The Neighbourhood – ‘Sweater Weather’

It’s a bit of a meme now; a 2013 dream in leather and ripped denim. The ultimate sad boy anthem. This is the song that originally made teens across the world wish they were in a film noir as they cruised down the American highway in their convertibles. I wonder if its possible to recreate this down the A11 in a VW Golf?

8. A Song About Drugs or Alcohol: The Verve – ‘The Drugs Don’t Work’

A heartbreakingly beautiful ballad of woe where nothing, not even drugs, can provide even the slightest relief from the pain of separation. I had the pleasure to witness Richard Ashcroft sing this acoustically at Liam Gallagher’s Finsbury Park show in 2018 and hearing the crowd sing every word back to him fully impassioned was haunting. One of the all time great songs and criminally underrated.

9. A Song That Makes You Happy: Crystal Fighters – ‘Love Natural’

FIFA players know. Potentially the most iconic song from the FIFA franchise and its youthful spirit makes us all dream of international football on the big screen, beer in hand. The BBQ’s on and ready for half time. England through to the semis? Getting drunk with people you don’t know but by the end of the night they’re your brothers? Inject it into my veins.

10. A Song That Makes You Sad: Frank Ocean – ‘Self Control’

It just had to be a Frank Ocean song here, didn’t it? ‘Self Control’ is breathtaking. It tells the tale of failed love and the pitched up Austin Feinstein vocals sound so youthful and innocent, making the reality of the heart break even more unbearable. By the time the second part of the song is upon us, even the driest of eyes are shimmering. Frank finishes the song with accepting that the damage done is irreparable, and the defeat masked by his angelic vocals is far too relatable for frequent listens.

11. A Song You Never Get Tired of: Travis Scott – ‘Goosebumps’

This track came on at my University’s night club recently and I’ve never seen the room bounce like it did at that moment, (granted, it’s rare you can recall a night spent on student-priced alcohol). ‘Goosebumps’ is one of those songs that sticks out immediately, even on a first listen. It’s a colossal banger and still hits just as hard as it did the first time you heard it. Travis Scott warned everyone he was here to stay with this tune and, after seeing it performed live twice, it creates one of the most dangerously unpredictable environments, but that’s why we love it.

12. A Song From Your Preteen Years: The Kooks – ‘Naïve’

Quintessential indie for day 12 and one of those songs nearly every Brit of a certain age knows word for word, even if they never wanted to. Incredibly, this track still gets an “Ohh, yesssss!” every time it comes on regardless of where it is played. It’s just one of those beloved songs that is on a collision course with immortality.

13. A Song You Like From the 70’s: Pink Floyd – ‘Wish You Were Here’

Timeless. The 70’s was a pretty decent decade for the Floyd, wasn’t it? Sandwiched between two of the greatest albums of all time in ‘The Wall’ and ‘Dark Side of the Moon’, ‘Wish You Were Here’ is the title track of the 1975 album and is possibly the greatest of all the Pink Floyd songs. David Gilmour excruciatingly retrieves the most intense emotion from his guitar in what is actually a fairly simple tune to play. Beauty in simplicity, really. “Two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl” is devastating imagery from the band and has inspired tattoos for decades.

14. A Song You’d Love to be Played at Your Wedding: Courteeners – ‘Small Bones’

It always seemed to me that this song was what it was all about. One of my personal all time favourite tunes, it is blissfully real and grounded in the sort of experiences and encounters that many of us will go through at some point. Liam Fray is a hugely underrated lyricist and a true poet, and ‘Small Bones’ is delicate yet triumphant, a true testament to what Courteeners are capable of.

15. A Song You Like That’s a Cover by Another Artist: Nirvana – ‘Where Did You Sleep Last Night’

I nearly put in The Last Shadow Puppets’ cover of ‘Moonage Daydream’ before I remembered the best cover of all time. Originally performed by Leadbelly, Nirvana took the song for their MTV Unplugged performance and gave the world an example of musical excellence. ‘Where Did You Sleep Last Night’ is moody and ambiguous, connoting an atmosphere of danger in the story telling infused with the unpredictability of the narrator. Kurt Cobain releases an ear-piercing, earth-shattering scream on the tail end of this track that is the embodiment of pain itself. It is frightening how talented Cobain was.

16. A Song That’s a Classic Favourite: Neil Diamond – ‘Cracklin’ Rosie’

I owe this one to Skate 3. What a tune. It’s so unbelievably chilled and feel good, as is the Neil Diamond way. There’s just something about this song that makes you smile, whether its the rhythmic guitar or Diamond’s fantastic singing. A very suave geezer.

17. A Song You’d Sing a Duet with Someone on Karaoke: Lorde – ‘Homemade Dynamite – REMIX’

Let’s get a whole crew for this one, everyone pick a part. Whether it’s Lorde, SZA, Khalid, or Post Malone, each vocalist offers something different to this track of epic proportion, and ironically, something us bladdered karaoke wannabes could only recreate to drunken ears. Nevertheless, I’m willing to give it a go if anyone fancies it.

18. A Song From the Year You Were Born: Moby – ‘Porcelain’

It appears that 1999 was not the greatest year for music but amongst the industry plants and frosty tipped boybands exists Moby’s ‘Porcelain’ – a kaleidoscopic exploration of forbidden and ultimately doomed love. It is instantly recognisable and undoubtedly holds a place in musical history. Honourable mentions for this entry include ‘Still D.R.E’ from Dr Dre, and ‘Californication’ from Red Hot Chili Peppers.

19. A Song That Makes You Think About Life: Fleet Foxes – ‘Helplessness Blues’

Awarded the second best song of the 2010’s by Anthony Fantano, Fleet Foxes’s ‘Helplessness Blues’ is humble and honest with its listener whilst providing the sort of philosophical questions required for a song that makes you think about life. “I was raised up believing I was somehow unique/ like a snowflake distinct among snowflakes/ unique in each way you can see” begins the song, alluding to how all snowflakes are unique but from a distance they all look the same. Deep.

20. A Song That has Many Meanings To You: Radiohead – ‘True Love Waits’

I tried to keep this to one song per artist, but we’ll have to make an acceptation for a song I literally have tattooed on my arm. ‘True Love Waits’ reworked for ‘A Moon Shaped Pool’ tells of Thom Yorke’s battle with losing his partner to cancer and it is harrowing. He sings of the nuances of true love and what really matters in so few words, because, essentially, true love doesn’t need to be glossed up and glamourised. The track teaches the listener to not take love or life for granted from the perspective of someone who has lost everything. It is the single song that has had the biggest impact on my life.

21. A Song You Like With A Person’s Name in the Title: Lily Allen – ‘Alfie’

I had to get Lily Allen in here somewhere and this is perhaps the perfect moment to do so. Not only does ‘Alfie’ perfectly portray Lily Allen’s sharp wit and sense of humour but also details to us what Theon Greyjoy’s life was like before the whole Ramsay Bolton business. In all honesty, Lily simply slags Alfie Allen off for the duration of this song and its remarkable that this stoner character she creates has become such a successful actor. Fair play to him.

22. A Song That Moves You Forward: Fredo – ‘They Ain’t 100’

A powerful motivator when pushing for one more rep. For some reason, I react better during a workout to aggressive music, so what better than one of Fredo’s biggest hits? It’s cold and remorseless, dangerous and daring, marking Fredo as one of the biggest personalities in the current UK music scene. This slot could just as easily gone to Digga D’s ‘No Diet’, but Fredo’s aggressive flow is far more motivating that Digga D’s calm and calculated demeanour.

23. A Song You Think Everybody Should Listen to: U.S. Girls – ‘Pearly Gates’

As if this category wasn’t every single one on this challenge. However, this one you should really, really listen to. This song is nuts. It feels menacing yet heavenly at the same time and theres a sense of suggested tension that permeates throughout the track, making the listener yearn for the story that gave birth to this track. It’s a movie for the ears and has your brain scrambling to create the scenes for this sensual cinema. So far, I’ve got a vision of a film noir femme fatale. I wonder what other listeners have…

24. A Song by A Band You Wish Were Still Together: The Smiths – ‘Panic’

I’ve seen Johnny Marr live and it was surreal. God knows how great it would be to see the whole band back together. Regardless of what you think about Morrissey’s politics, The Smiths are musical legends and ‘Panic’ is what The Smiths were all about. Only they could write a song screaming “Hang the DJ” and make it sound like they were singing anything but. So, so, so many amazing songs that are just dying to be played live by them, just one more time. Go on lads, you know it makes sense.

25. A Song You Like by an Artist no Longer Living: Joy Division – ‘Disorder’

Ian Curtis only made it to 23 years old but was there ever a greater catalogue of work produced in such a short career? ‘Disorder’ is one of those tracks that is fairly timeless due to its unique sound accompanied by Curtis’ vocals. Masterpiece.

26. A Song That Makes You Want to Fall in Love: Clairo – ‘Bags’

Does it make you want to fall in love or run as far away from it as you can? Who knows? I’ve written about this track before and Clairo’s excellent analysis of herself in moments of romantic struggle, but I think this song is perfect for this category because of what it is not. It isn’t a glorification about what love is when its all going well. Instead, it hints at what could be and perhaps that is what matters the most. She is willing to risk it all for this person regardless of whether they have reciprocated interest or not just for a shot at there being something between them.

27. A Song That Breaks Your Heart: Natalia Lafourcade – ‘Danza de Gardenias’

Sung in the Spanish language, this Mexican folk song from Natalia Lafourcade has the speaker appeal to an absent subject, asking them not to cry and be sad as they will eventually come back again form their misery. We are not told what event has happened to bring on such pain, but perhaps we don’t need to be told. This way, the listener can apply their own experiences to the purity of Natalia Lafourcade’s voice and find the heart break in that.

28. A Song by an Artist Whose Voice You Love: The Weeknd – ‘A Lonely Night’

Bloody hell has The Weeknd got some pipes on him. He’s reinvented himself time and time again over the past decade and even when he’s explicitly singing about what he may or may not do to his partners, he still manages to sound classy just from how glossy his voice is. ‘A Lonely Night’ is one of my favourite cuts from 2016’s ‘Starboy’ with its nostalgic groove which encourages dances both innocent and not so.

29. A Song You Remember From Your Childhood: T.I. – ‘Whatever You Like’

Before T.I. was creeping us all out with his strange fascination with his daughter’s hymen, he was actually making decent music. I’d forgotten this track for several years before some anonymous shuffle brought it all right back. The noughties was a great decade of music globally and ‘Whatever You Like’ was just one of the American exports that touched base with a UK audience.

30. A Song That Reminds You of Yourself: Arctic Monkeys – ‘Do Me a Favour’

To end this list, I had to go to the first band I ever truly fell in love with. I’m far from alone in saying that Arctic Monkeys soundtracked my teenage years, but I guess that’s a sign of their greatness that millions of people can have such a deep, personal connection with their music and still have a different experience with it than the next person. ‘Do Me a Favour’ is probably my favourite song from the band. It feels like an ever-escalating story, climaxing in an explosion of sound that leaves you breathless upon each listen. I can’t count the amount of times I’ve listened to this song and chances are I won’t be able to count the chances I will listen to it from here on, either.

So, that’s it. There are some artists that could have reappeared countless times due to the nature of this so-called ‘challenge’ (Frank Ocean, I’m looking at you), but 30 songs will never be enough to include all the artists you might want. I’m gutted I couldn’t shoehorn in acts such as Wolf Alice, Fleetwood Mac, Kanye West, Kendrick Lamar, Paramore, and Tame Impala just to name a few, but I think I’ve done a pretty stellar job of selecting appropriate tracks for each category. I’d recommend giving all of them a listen if you haven’t done so already, but remember, Carole Baskin knows more than she’s letting on.

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