2nd of May 2021. The day I decided to open up the charts playlist for the first time all year, probably, and wow, what a trip. I’ve felt detached from pop music this year – I deleted TikTok (too addictive), stopped listening to the radio (too samey), and became a bedroom recluse, devoting my ears to 80’s and 90’s alternative rock almost exclusively. Therefore, I’m long overdue some radio-friendly, unit-shifting music in my life and who knows, maybe some of it sticks. I’ll be limiting this to the top 10 most played tracks for now, with room to explore more in the future, should I need to. Lastly, before I begin, the inspiration for this came from Rick Beato’s YouTube channel – a channel music lovers must subscribe to.
10 – Russ Millions, Tion Wayne “Body”
You know the Cornetto trilogy, right? And how The World’s End was the worst of the three? “Body” is Russ Millions’ The World’s End. It’s the third instalment in this franchise seemingly, following “Gun Lean” and “Keisha & Becky” but doesn’t seem to do as much as its predecessors. It isn’t as significant as the other two tracks, nor is it as exciting. Also, Russ Millions’ chemistry with Tion Wayne doesn’t seem as healthy as it has in the past. Perhaps it’s the fact that Tion Wayne sounds a lot like Unknown T here, but something just doesn’t sound right to me. I was going to suggest that maybe it’s an issue of taste, but it’s the tenth most played track in the country, so maybe it’s not.
9 – Olivia Rodrigo “deja vu”
My first thought was that this sounds a lot like Lorde, specifically the Lorde from Melodrama. It wasn’t what I expected as a follow up from “Driver’s License”, but it’s pretty good! One thing is very clear with Olivia Rodrigo – she is an amazing vocalist. I’m fully invested in her success and I actually like this song as a second single. I wasn’t sure about the drums on this at first, but the more I listen, the more I like them. The structure of her two singles so far is quite similar, and like “Driver’s License”, “deja vu” has a killer bridge in the final third of the song. Really good, big fan. (Also, this song just came on a shuffle and I got really excited when it started? Oh no, I’m hooked. Will probably be in tears with this song soon. Oops.)
8 – Tiesto “The Business”
Hmmm. I was shocked this wasn’t a MEDUZA song when I first heard it. I guess Tiesto just wears his influences on his sleeve. I’m kind of struggling with this song, because it’s just one of those Ibiza club songs that comes out every year, will be big for about two months, then fade into obscurity, never to be heard again. It happens all the time. I guess, if this sort of thing is for you, you can enjoy “The Business” while it is here, but I doubt you’d miss it much when it goes. Bit of a snooze fest for me. Also, nothing really happens in this song? I feel like it’s missing an instrumental somewhere, or just something actually engaging. Next.
7 – Dua Lipa, DaBaby “Levitating”
Globetrotting Dua Lipa might not recognise international travel restrictions when she sees them, but does appreciate a good tune when she hears one. The DaBaby feature I thought would be weird and out of place, but I think it might work? The jury’s out on that one still, because I don’t know if he adds a significant amount to this track. Dua definitely doesn’t need the help anyway because’s she’s incredibly versatile with her vocal performances and knows how to dominate a track. I’ll confess, I think this song is really great. It might, MIGHT, be Dua Lipa’s best song. I loved New Rules and all that, but disco Dua is something else. Feel good, vibrant, and fun. Everything you want from a pop song. A*.
6 – Joel Corry, RAYE, David Guetta “BED”
Right, where do I begin? I guess I start with the positives. RAYE is a good vocalist. Now the negatives. Joel Corry just doesn’t do it for me, I’m sorry if he does it for you. There’s nothing daring, innovative, or even unique about his music and I’m convinced he’s an industry plant, or maybe even an alien. This song is so boring and I feel like I’ve heard it a million times. Also, David Guetta is on here? I don’t know why. I don’t know what he’s adding, I don’t know why he’s involved in this song, I don’t know why he can’t just go back to making some decent stuff. I just don’t know. And, to be honest, I don’t even care. The lyrics are dull and unimaginative, too. I’m aware I’ve just taken quite a considerable shit on this song, but someone had to.
5 – Riton, Nightcrawlers, Mufasa & Hypeman, Dopamine “Friday”
This sample is boring. AJ Tracey did something fairly interesting with it, this line-up did not. Yes, it feels like a party vibe purely as a result of the colloquial nature of the hook, but it’s a bit of a copout and doesn’t truly feel like a serious song. Also, I hate what the “what” bit. That sucks. Proper cringe. I’m disappointed that this seems to be a hit. I sound like a bit of a Scrooge, but this is so painful to me. There’s a plethora of songs that fit the same vibe but do a much, MUCH, better job of executing it. One example is, coincidentally, the sampled track which definitely didn’t need to be reshaped in this quite honestly brutal fashion.
4 – Doja Cat, SZA “Kiss Me More”
So, here’s the thing. I am STARVING for new SZA music, but this just doesn’t scratch my itch. I know this is controversial, but I think she’s under utilised on here. However, Doja Cat gives a solid performance and seems to be rapidly maturing as an artist – finding her sound, branching out vocally and becoming a fascinating hybrid of rap, pop and dream pop. Hot Pink produced so many successful songs, which will definitely be hard to live up to, but I think, as a package, Doja’s next album will be a more cohesive sonic experience. “Kiss Me More” is a good lead single for this upcoming project, I just wish there was more SZA!
3 – Polo G “RAPSTAR”
“RAPSTAR” is a trap ballad, I guess? I don’t really know how I feel about it? I’m kind of shocked its the third most listened to song, to be honest. What’s weirder to me is that I know it’s been here for a while, too. Yeah, I’m neither here nor there with this. Actually, it’s fairly refreshing to have on this list considering its more toned down, delicate and emotional approach, I just don’t know if it resonates with me. It’s definitely not what I expected. Polo G’s lyrics are quite intriguing, though, and I feel like he has a lot of potential to produce a really great album – one that makes everyone stop and listen, marking it an instant classic. But I think that’s a year or two down the line.
2 – Justin Bieber, Daniel Caesar, Giveon “Peaches”
ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. That’s how I feel when this song comes on whenever I’m around. I hate it. I hate how the excellent features are just wasted! What was the actual point of getting Daniel Caesar and Giveon on this track? Because, as far as I can see, they don’t add anything. But they should! Because they’re great! “Peaches” isn’t even that much better than “Yummy” which is objectively one of the worst songs ever written. This wants to be cool so so so badly, so badly in fact that it becomes the absolute opposite. I’m repulsed by this song and how it appropriates a sound, setting, atmosphere without adding anything to it at all. The storyline on Spotify says “This one makes you wanna have the top down and drive by the beach and cruise with your friends” and that “It’s one of those records that makes you want to move and groove”. Imagine yourself in this world for one second. You’re driving by the beach, as that is essential according to Justin, and your friend puts on “Peaches” because they want to “cruise” and “move and groove”. Roughly how long do you think they’ll stay your friend? It’s such a ‘pick me’ type song that could only ever appeal to someone absolutely desperate to portray a life they don’t live, but want you to believe they do. Of course, this type of person is very, very rare, which makes it all the more obvious that this person is in fact Justin Bieber himself, sucking the life and soul out of Daniel Caesar and Giveon like some industry plant Dementor, doing anything to be mentioned in the same breath as these supremely talented artists without realising he just doesn’t have the musical chops for that to happen.
1 – Lil Nas X “MONTERO (Call Me BY Your Name)
It’s better than “HOLIDAY” that’s for sure. I think that’s it, though. Lil Nas X’s musical evolution has been interesting to watch, each song being somewhat standalone in it’s feel and presence in the musical landscape, and “MONTERO” is no different. What I will say about the artist is that he seems very dedicated to the package that each of his songs brings. For example, this track is implicitly sexual and conflates religious scripture with substance abuse as well as coming out. The music video also reflects this, as does the highly controversial shoe release, but these expand on the overall “MONTERO” experience. While I don’t particularly feel anything for the song, probably because it’s quite short and I don’t get to bond with it properly, I can appreciate the work rate of Lil Nas X and the artistic direction that guides his projects.
Overall, I’d say that the top 10 had 4 hits (deja vu, Levitating, Kiss Me More, RAPSTAR) and 6 misses. That’s not a particularly great haul but I’ve always been sceptical of these Spotify charts because I get the feeling they’re strongly driven by radio, retail and anything else that might rely on quick, current, easy listening to provide the type of atmosphere that isn’t really an atmosphere at all – just noise. Nevertheless, there are some diamonds in the rough, even though the rough does get very, very rough, especially in the case of “Peaches” and “BED”. Also, I’ve just had a flick through of songs 11-20, and I’m afraid to say it doesn’t really get much better, just based on the ones I’m familiar with (there’s a KSI one and oh my god his music sucks, but there is The Weeknd with Ariana Grande which is a huge positive). I feel bad for discrediting a lot of these songs because I do genuinely respect people who have the creative ability to achieve something as impressive as a top 10 single, it’s just that I don’t always like these songs. I think that’s just part of the musical experience though and is why music is so great, because there’s always something for everyone. It would be impossible to make a universally loved song and the people making them know that, so I don’t think they’ll mind my bashing of their art, especially on an article which probably won’t be read more than 20 times. However, if you did read, thank you for doing so, I appreciate it.
The Turntable 